Midway's Greatest Arcade Hits: Volume 1

Retro Arcade Fever sweeps the N64! The Seventies and early Eighties have a lot to answer for: the three day week, miners' strikes, power-cuts and, of course, the awful spectre of Margaret Thatcher. It wasn't all bad for our drainpipe-trousered forefathers though, as Mars bars only cost about 3p, and they did get to waste hours on many now-defunct arcade machines.

In those days, graphics were part of the imagination, and a quick blast on classics like Defender was perfect for killing time 'dahn the yoof club', or in your local smoke-filled amusement arcade. Well, now you can relive those heady days (even if you were only a twinkle in the milkman's eye at the time) with a copy of Midway's Arcade Greatest Hits: Volume 1!

The first thing that strikes you about this package is the sheer range of games available. If you had to choose six games that summed up arcade gaming's infancy, then Defender, Robotron 2084, Sinistar, Joust, Root Beer Tapper and Spy Hunter would probably all be on your list. The great thing about including this range of games is that everyone has their favourite, and furious debate will be sparked by the list of titles alone! Shouts of things like: "Hey – where's Space Invaders?" and: "What – no Rampage?" might well be the result of wheeling this cart out at a party, but we think the games on offer are more than enough to be going on with, and good value too!

As all of the games featured here are still hugely popular in their own right, we thought it would be only fair to treat each one to an equal spell in the limelight. So first, then, the mighty Defender...

Block Shoots Block Action

Released way, way back in 1980, when I was one year old, and Roy was a lot older (Oi! I was six, thank you very much – Roy) Defender was the first shoot-'em-up that scrolled both left and right. The game was designed around this feature, and had you steering your fearsome little ship around, blasting no-good alien scum, and rescuing little people.

Defender soon became famous for its control method, as the game featured inertia – which meant you could really throw the ship around, and it would drift under its own momentum – and also the greatest laser graphics ever. No, really. Call me nostalgic if you like, but those laser beams are a great sight, aren't they? The gameplay is also stupidly addictive, with the gamer using the radar at the top of the screen to seek out (or, more often, run away from) hordes of sinister blobs.

Eat Laser, Alien Scum!

Essentially your mission is a defensive one: you must prevent the alien invaders from picking up and carrying away the little people you are protecting, or die in the process! All the features of a shoot-'em-up that we now take for granted are here, but, despite the (by contemporary standards) poor graphics, the Smart Bomb – your trusty kill-everything-on-screen ultimate deterrent – has just as much impact on the gamer as anything you'll see on an N64 or PlayStation. In short, Defender is still an absolute class today, and just fantastic fun.

The same can also be said of Robotron 2084. This game was released in the same year as the mighty Defender, and proved to be no less entertaining. The graphics, while similar to those of Defender, are a significant improvement, although they still look very primitive by today's standards. The gameplay 'gimmick' which the original employed was to use two joysticks: one to scurry about the playing area, protecting your cyborg from the threat of marauding aliens, and the other to deal out 360 degrees of instant death with your really quite immense laser gun.

Massive Firepower

Robotron 2084 pits you, a humble cybernetic killing machine, against vast swathes of... well, blocky things. We'll assume they're aliens, as the baddies in early coin-ops usually are, but it doesn't really matter. (Actually they're robots, hence the title of the game – Roy.) Where this game really succeeds is in the simple fact that you start every level in the middle of the screen in the midst of the action. Although this sounds like a minor point, it does mean that (as the screenshots show) it's a battle to stay alive from the word go. In later levels, the sheer volume of baddies means that the action gets completely manic, with lasers flying about all over the show as you try to protect the innocent humans from the evil robotic monstrosities.

At the end of the day, Robotron is a classic title. The gameplay style will be familiar to anyone who's played Smash TV – which is quite a few people – and it's well worth checking out.

Sinistar is another early classic which sees you (stop me if you've heard this one before) battling evil aliens in deep space. This game also takes the 'inertia' control system idea from Defender, and improves on it, meaning that it really does feel like you're steering your ship around in zero gravity. Also, like Robotron 2084, the simple fact that you're constantly surrounded by marauding enemies makes for some pretty frenetic gameplay.

Bash Those Buttons!

The basic aim of this 2D space battler is to destroy the Sinistar, a massive great asteroid-like baddie with flashing red eyes and sharp, pointy teeth. No, really! The only problem is, the Sinistar is also about 200 times the size of your puny little spacecraft, so, more often than not, you go running after the Sinistar, only to accidentally get eaten when you engage it in combat! Persevere though, cos the effect when you destroy the immense enemy is really quite impressive!

Another great feature of Sinistar is the way that your ship handles. As we've already mentioned, the craft is subject to momentum, but it can also spin around on the spot! This is very handy for those (all too frequent) moments when the ship is surrounded by legions of incoming asteroids or aliens, as it means you can take them all on at the same time. There's also a handy little map at the top of the screen, which makes tracking down your enemies much easier.

Midway obviously thought that gamers might need a break from the whole 'killing aliens in space with lasers' scenario. So, in the immortal words of Monty Python: 'Now it's time for something completely different': it can only be Root Beer Tapper!

Ah, booze! I bet you were wondering when we would finally get around to that! (It's only root beer, don't get too excited – Roy) What? Eh? Are you sure? (Yes, and you're wasting time. Get on with the damn review! – Roy) But... oh all right then, here goes! Root Beer Tapper casts you as an honest bartender, trying to keep all. Robotron 2084 pits you, a humble cybernetic killing machine, against vast swathes of, well, blocky things.

Time Gentlemen Please!

The secret to success in Root Beer Tapper is knowing exactly when to fling your pint. As simple as it sounds, a mistimed sliding glass of root beer not only makes a right mess of the pub, but also results in our hero being thrown down the bar after it! This means that the player has to keep track of who wants serving on six bars at a time and must run around collecting the empties as well! It's not all bad though, because, if you're quick enough, you'll earn much-appreciated bonuses, in the form of small piles of cash.

Whereas Sinistar, Robotron 2084 and Defender were all really obvious choices for a compilation of arcade classics, Root Beer Tapper doesn't really have what it takes, playability-wise, to compete with those titles. It's great fun for a while, but you probably won't be coming back to it on a regular basis, unless you've still got a bit of a soft spot for those old Play'N'Watch LCD handheld games like Donkey Kong, that is.

Unfortunately the same can also be said for the fifth title in the collection, Joust. Now, call me a know-nothing heretic if you like, but

The Weakest Link

As we couldn't quite decide which of these games was best (or worst), we decided that it should all be settled with a homage to the contestant-baiting, ginger genius that is Anne Robinson, and her latest triumph, The Weakest Link.

"HELLO! Anne Robinson here! You know, the annoyingly ginger queen of afternoon quizshows! I've been asked by those HAPLESS IDIOTS to grill two of the least satisfactory games in this selection, and find out which is the STRONGEST and which is the WEAKEST link. By the way, after I'm done here, I'm popping across to the USA to sort their PATHETIC election FIASCO out for them, once and for all!"

"RIGHT! I won't beat about the bush any longer! Defender, you were the most popular game of your time, you banked the most money, and are the best game here. Therefore, YOU are the strongest link!"

Lancelot

The gamer's unenviable task in Joust is to race around trying to off the enemy jousters with his lance, (steady on) collecting points and bonuses in the process. The 'twist' is that play takes place over a single screen of small platforms, which all the jousters fly between on their winged horses! Sounds good? Well, it is – for a while. The main problem with this game is that the difference between the levels is very small, and the main sprite is, frankly, pathetic.

Without good graphics to redeem it, Joust's lack of playing appeal is very apparent. That said, there is some fun to be had, as you bomb around the screen trying to lance all the other jousters. When you successfully attack, the defeated knight drops his shield for you to collect. Once you've beaten all the knights who were charging about on the various platforms, you progress to the next level. Once again though, the playability is a little bit limited, and doesn't stand up to more than about half an hour of play before you get bored. Shame!

Fortunately, the final game in the set, Spy Hunter, goes a long way towards redeeming the flaws of both Root Beer Tapper and Joust – it's absolutely fantastic! The game casts you as a (you've guessed it) spy hunter, tearing down the road in your souped-up car, shooting at innocent bystanders and the odd enemy spy with a variety of tasty weapons, including machine guns and rockets!

Vroom! Ratatatat!

Ever seen the movie Spaceballs? In that classic Mel Brooks space caper, one of the ships has speed settings that get so, well, stupid, that they're actually called 'Ridiculous Speed' and 'Ludicrous Speed'. Well, in Spy Hunter, it seems that the same applies. Your motor has got two gears – 'lo' and 'hi', in true arcade tradition – but the 'hi' setting is so, erm, 'hi' that it has to be used very carefully indeed. Picture the scene: you're casually bumbling along in your jamjar, bumping off cyclists, and you think to yourself: 'Hey, here's a straight bit of road, I'll just put my foot down – after all, it can't do any harm, right?' WRONG! All of a sudden, you're batting along at what feels like about 300 miles per hour, frantically trying to keep your car on the road!

This sudden burst of speed is – like a petrol-powered hedge trimmer – absolutely terrifying the first time you use it, but it gets easier to control after a while, and becomes a vital, if hair-raising, part of the gameplay. Spy Hunter is a difficult game, but there's more than enough to keep you coming back until you've finished it. A true arcade classic!

IS THAT YOUR FINAL ANSWER?

One of the more curious additions to the Arcade Greatest Hits package is the Arcade Trivia section. Most gamers might see straight through this section, and think it's little more than a last-minute add-on to bolster the cart's features. And they'd be absolutely right. That said, it's quite entertaining for a while, but we found that there weren't really enough questions included. This meant that even a bunch of thickos like us started spouting trivia about videogames of yore, and pretending to be right brainboxes in the office!

Seriously though, the Arcade Trivia 'machine' is chock-full of interesting facts. Our top three questions, plucked screaming from the mists of time, are:

Trivia Quiz Questions & Answers

• Question: Which grandaddy of all arcade shooters was sooo popular in its native Japan that, a month after release, there was a nationwide shortage of 100 Yen pieces? (Now that's what we call popular!)

• Answer: Space Invaders

• Question: Which historically important videogame went to its debut performance at a world-renowned electronics fair without any of the chips needed to actually run the software? (No, really!)

• Answer: Defender

• Question: Which game was withdrawn, and made harder, after only a few weeks, because arcade owners complained that kids weren't getting through enough quarters? (That explains a lot!)

• Answer: Spy Hunter

Midway's Greatest Arcade Hits collection uses the original arcade code for all of the games, so no attempt has been made to tidy up the graphics or sound. This means that, unlike most games nowadays, these titles have to rely on something called 'playability'. Apparently, this ancient term means 'a game that is fun to play because of what the player has to do, and not because of what nice flashy visuals there are to look at.' If you can forgive a couple of duff game choices, and like getting your kicks the old-fashioned way, then Midway's Greatest Arcade Hits could well be the cart for you!

Joust is one of those titles fondly remembered from childhood visits to arcades, and it's long been a favourite of games developers and designers for its simple playability. It's only when you come around to revisiting the game that you begin to wonder why. The aim of the game is to fly around a single screen, bounce off platforms and try to clear the baddies by jousting with them. A joust consists of bashing an opponent at a higher level than yourself. If you're lower, they win and you lose a life. Once successfully bashed, they drop an egg, which can be collected for bonus points.

While there are only three kinds of opponent, further levels alter the screen layout, inserting occasional fixed obstacles, such as flames at the end of platforms. It's fast, it's simple, but without someone to rebound your top scores off of, it's ultimately pointless.