Hammer & Sickle

Like most games to come from Eastern Europe, Hammer & Sickle is incredibly bizarre. While it promises extensive character development and complete freedom over game progression, what we're left with is a dated turn-based RTS where the few redeeming features are lost between the clunky interface and sub-par character animation. Along the way something seems to have been lost in translation; a growing sense of unease is created by straight-faced character animations, while the dialogue rivals that of an Argos catalogue in terms of exciting literature.

It's just all so sensible - after playing the game for a while I would have given my first-born child just to see the main character crack a smile, or jokingly call his commanding officer a mildly crude name. Instead, we're left with his cold, blank stare for hour upon hour of archaic game design and hilarious one-liners such as: "The flies here have quite a sting!"

But there is a competent strategy game in there somewhere; padded between the questionable soundtrack and extremely basic production values. I'm sure that some perverted fellow out there will find some enjoyment. After all, the character customisation is nice and any game that still features communist Soviets has an old-school heart in it. In the most part though, avoid this one like you would an elderly relative at a wedding reception who's suffering from the plague.