The Mark

The British And the Americans have a very different way of waging war. The Mark captures this difference perfectly, and with a real sense of understated panache. The difference is this: when Fletcher, your US 'go go go' character shoots a bad guy, he shouts: "Hope that hurt!" But when Hawke - the sneaky camp Englishman - kills someone, he snidely oils: "Hope that didn't hurt". Spot the difference? The English are sarcastic to corpses.

Before going back to why the game is funny, let me first tell you why it's rubbish. First, the Al is on a par with R-Type. Learn where they are, allow for some sideways movement and shoot them. That's not to say it's easy - their bullets damage you plenty and they're quick to fire - but it's not a satisfying game to beat. The inclusion of depth of field, bullet-time and the rest make it feel like a box-checking project It's like putting a plastic tiara on a drunken goat, and you'd be well advised to . try the demo first - the frame-rate dropped to an unplayable 8fps on our less macho machine.

Make no mistake, this game is two oversized coal sacks of crap - but The Mark has a redeeming hilarity. Playing as Fletcher, I'd often turn around to see Hawke sliding wordlessly and erratically, in what can only be described as a moonwalk line-dance. One soldier took time out from shooting at me to jump on a table and face the other way, like he was sulking. If T7 Games had just put everyone on Al and let you watch, The Mark would have been funnier , than Team America. Sadly it's a game; and it's shit.