Terminator 3: War of the Machines

Three billion human lives ended on August 29,1997. It's a miracle it wasn't more. A race facing a nuclear winter, unable to feed themselves after the world's food supplies were obliterated by several thousand well-placed atom bombs, and to top it all off, an army of cybernetic organisms intent on wiping out the dregs of humanity with state of the art weaponry and a collective will that simply can't be reasoned with. That's your starting scenario for Terminator 3: War Of The Machines. Pretty bleak, huh?

Human Fools

The game gives you the chance to save or exterminate humanity once and for all, playing either as humans or Terminators over a collection of varied levels based in the present (including locations from the Terminator 3 movie) and in the blackened-skied future. But while the films enraptured millions with their classic action-sequences, witty dialogue and intelligently crafted storylines, War Of The Machines is likely to do the opposite.

Playing the three different game types - Termination (base capturing), Mission (hold/overrun an area) and Team Deathmatch (self explanatory) - as humans is admittedly more fun, though sadly for all the wrong reasons. While it's understandable that the cream of humanity's fighting force was wiped out by Skynet's incisive strike on a warm summer's day back in the '90s, it's hard to believe that what was left could be quite so incapable. Example? Men jumping into jeeps and driving into walls. Reversing, then driving into the same wall. And again, and again... You get the idea.

Which kind of leaves it up to you to win the war - or rather, each of the unconnected levels -all on your ownsome. And if you rocket to the top of the killboard, you win the right to play as Arnie himself. At least I think it's Arnie, as here he looks more like a shorn Ozzy Osbourne on steroids sporting leather-clad midget legs.

You Won't Be Back

Playing as a Terminator isn't nearly as satisfying, as scything down the idiot rabble that is humanity soon becomes tedious. In fact, no matter who you play as or how hard you set the level of difficulty, you'll never struggle to top the killboard or fear your team is about to be annihilated. And that's where the real problem lies with this game.

Human weapons and Terminator model classes (ranging from T1 s to T900s) are many and varied, and the smaller, more enclosed levels can sometimes reach the dizzy heights of 'almost exciting', as you and your comrades battle to hold a base against the machines. However, the cumbersome larger levels, lack of teamwork and the poor Al generally make the whole experience limper than a three-legged dog convention.

No doubt it'll be better when you play with or against humans (we'll be reviewing the multiplayer game separately in a couple of issues), but as a single player experience it won't be long before you're gripped by the urge to say 'hasta la vista, baby' and self-terminate.